Once again, spring has sprung, and once again the beautiful but lecherous flowers are attempting to pollinate my nostrils.

Now, I much prefer spring to winter — seeing the sun more than occasionally is awesome and actually being able to go outside without fearing for the safety of my toes is highly preferred to the alternative. However, I’d like to submit a request to flowers and other pollinating plants everywhere that they leave my poor sinuses alone.

In all truth, I don’t get allergies nearly as bad as some — only a constant stuffy nose from March to November and the usual sneezing fits. Occasionally my eyes will water, but that’s about as bad as it ever gets. But I maintain that plants have gotten far too brave in their assaults and I’m sick and tired of barely being able to enjoy their beauty and their scents without sneezing on them.

Also, how do their attempts to pollinate my nose provide any benefit? It’s not as if I’ve ever had flowers sprout from my nostrils to validate their efforts. I suppose plants adhere mostly to the “sow your pollen anywhere and everywhere and hope some of it sticks.” method of reproduction.

In any case, it’s awfully unjust that my and others’ immune systems should have to suffer at the hands of amorous plants and their omnipresent plant-sperms, but I guess that’s just the way to cookie crumbles. Or the way the plant pollinates, more aptly.

I guess you’d expect me to be used to, or at least out of energy to complain about, my hay fever, but in all honesty, I don’t think I’ll ever be truly done complaining. The only thing that keeps me from really, truly enjoying the spring is the constant stuffy nose I’ve been saddled with, but at least there’s always nasal sprays and Allertec.